Ruthless
by Bedroom Dancing
Summary: 15 is a confusing age, Remus often told himself. Especially with these werewolf hormones... Justified or not, there's a few sparks flying between himself and Sirius. Chronicles the high and lows of years 4 through 6. RS smarm.
1. Prologue

Ruthless  
By Bedroom Dancing

**A/N: **Woohoo, my first full-legnth Remus/Sirius. Please note that this is rated T, and there will be no explicit slash in the entirety of this story. There will, however, be mild swearing and violence. This fanfiction will also contain hints of Lily/James romance spread within. The Prologue to this story is set in The Marauder's third year.

* * *

"Now do take care, Remus," Madame Pomfrey said gently, putting the finishing wrapping touches on a teenage boy's tender wrist. "You've still got rather a nasty cut on your face, but, well that's as good as it's going to get."

The boy named Remus nodded and examined his heavily bandaged wrist before rolling down the sleeve of his white uniform shirt. "Thank you ma'am," he said quietly before hopping off the infirmary bed and heading for the exit. She watched him go and hastily wiped a tear off of her cheek.

"Werewolf puberty..." sighed Madame Pomfrey empathetically, watching the sandy blonde haired boy push the door shut behind him.

Remus wandered through the dimly lit corridors towards Gryffindor Tower, taking a staircase that resided behind an ancient tapestry to shortcut the route to his dorms.

The common room was vacant, typical of such a time of night. Remus had also expected all of his fellow third years to have gone to bed, but as he tugged open the door to his dormitory and slipped inside, his honey brown eyes focused opon the scene of three teenage boys on the floor playing a game of Exploding Snap. All heads swivelled to Remus as he stood awkwardly in the threshold of the room.

"Something wrong you guys?" Remus couldn't hide the apparent shock in his voice. He flattened his slightly overgrown fringe in an attempt to cover the slash mark above his eyebrow.

"No, we're just playing a game," James said simply, tossing down a card onto the pile.

Crossing the common room, Remus sat himself on the bed and weakly tugged at the knot of his tie.

"And where were you, Mr. Lupin? Off wreaking havoc without us?" Sirius asked conversationally, his grey eyes glinting mischeivously in the light of the floating candles surrounding the pile of cards.

"Nope," Remus mumbled, and gingerly continued to undress. He bit down on his lip- bad idea, as the wound smarted as awful as it looked.

"So then where?" Sirius repeated sharply.

Remus felt his taped ribs protest as he stepped into a pair of flannel sleep pants and climbed onto his bed. He replied hesitantly, "I fancied a stroll. And I... y'know, tripped over a bush," Remus added lamely at their prolonged glares.

"A stroll out on the grounds from before dinner until past 4am?" James asked, raising his eyebrows, while flipping down a card that caused the entire deck to explode.

Remus flicked his wand, and the bed curtains swished closed around his four poster. "Goodnight," he said firmly.

"He's not gonna tell us," Peter said in an undertone.

"Well duh," Sirius replied, and Remus heard the ancient floorboards creak as he crossed the room.

Sirius tugged open the curtains and took a seat on the very edge of the bed, speaking in a kind voice, "Remus, for the past three years, you've dissappeared for hours at a time and come back with these awful injuries-" he gestured to Remus' heavily bandaged arm, which was immediately withdrawn under the covers. Sirius frowned. "I'm not going to pretend I don't notice anymore."

"I told you," Remus murmured, averting his eyes from Sirius'. "I tripped, you know me, the klutz-"

"We can only believe that so many times," James interjected with a small chuckle.

Remus gazed around at the three boys watching him intently, and he knew the game was up. There was no way to keep fabricating these dumb, half-assed excuses and ridiculous stories anymore.

"Okay," he sighed audibly. "I rather fancied you guys' company, but I guess you've caught on."

Remus wholeheartedly meant it. Since arriving at Hogwarts as an 11-year-old boy, he'd spent a great deal of time with James, Sirius, and Peter.

_I guess they're nicer to me than Snape used to be, and quite a bit more entertaining. We're even still mates after the whole 'Sirius is such a wanker, James is a sodding prat who needs to be taught a lesson' prank wars thing last year,_ Remus recollected. _Well, they certainly found other people worthy of combining forces to pick on_- A certain greasy, hook nosed Slytherin in fact...

_And thus far,_ Remus continued to ponder, _James hasn't murdered me for accidently snogging Lily Evans around Christmastime. It's not my bloody fault she got drunk and showed me her knockers..._

... Well what James didn't know wouldn't kill him.

And, as unlikely as Remus was to ever admit it, he quite enjoyed the recent late nights roaming the castle while huddled under James' very own invisibility cloak. _I mean, hell, we've practically discovered enough hidden passages to write a novel._

"Oi, quit being a prat and just confess," Sirius replied impatiently, penetrating Remus' reflections.

"Err," Remus grumbled. Everyone waited.

Under the relentless watch of his roommates, he spoke in a voice barely above a whisper, "I'm a werewolf."

"What?" Peter leaned towards to the bed, craning his neck to hear.

"I'm a werewolf. I have to go somewhere safe once a month to transform so I don't accidently tear anyone limb from limb," Remus spoke through gritted teeth.

Nobody replied. Remus rolled over and shoved his face in a pillow to try and block out the three shocked faces staring up at him.

"A werewolf, huh?" Sirius finally broke the brewing silence. Remus peered up into his face, his defined features were all etched with concern.

"Never thought of that one," James added.

"I'll... Understand if you don't want to be be seen with me anymore. I'm a 'danger to society.' Just don't tell your parents or anything, 'cause they'll go after Dumbledore and he's done me a huge favor by letting me even come here in the first place. I spose you'll want a seperate dorm too, maybe it can be arranged-"

"Remus, HUSH." Sirius barked the command. Remus immediately shut his mouth and stared apprehensively. "Why would you think we'd stop being your friends?"

"Because, I'm dangerous!" He shook his injured arm in the air, immediately regretting the decision as he winced in pain. "Look at me! I tear myself apart every month, I daresay what I could do to you!"

"So? It must really be hell for you, the transformations," James grimaced, staring blatantly at Remus' lip.

Remus gaped. Why weren't they grasping the concept?

"Look," Sirius ran a hand through his long, dark hair. "If you weren't already banged up, I'd beat some sense into you. None of us are going to stop being your friend or anything, especially over something like this. If you had let us know earlier, we could've helped out, you daft cow."

"Helped me?" Remus croaked, for his throat had become exceptionally dry.

James nodded. "That's what friends do."

The atmosphere in the room lightened considerably, and the four boys launched into a conversation of possible ways to be with Remus throughout his monthly ordeal. A smile had creeped upon Remus' lips, and from that night on, he never again doubted the bonds of friendship he had formed.

* * *

**A/N:** Hoped you like the prologue. This will probably be the shortest installment in the story. And a special thanks to Shanzeh, who will be beta-ing this fic. 


	2. In Fear and Faith

**A/N**: Hey everybody, here's chapter two! Sorry for the wait, I had a lot of exams lately. But now I'm on vacation, so hopefully I'll get a lot of work done on this story as well as my L/J.

* * *

"Moony, up already, it's nearly time for lunch," Sirius tossed his dirty sock at Remus, who was previously slumbering soundly. He gagged and knocked it away. 

"Do you guys have to call me that?" Remus mumbled, sitting up in bed and blinking wakefulness into his eyes.

"I think it's cute," Peter cooed. James whacked him on the head with his Astronomy textbook.

"No acting like a fag in the dorms!" He proclaimed. Gesturing to the book, he continued, "And no ones eating, sleeping, or whatever until one of you helps me study. Sinistra's gonna fail me."

"That's because you always throw your empty ink bottles at her feet so she'll bend over for you," Peter replied simply.

Sirius chuckled. "She's asking for it with those tight, low cut, robes and she's got that-"

"So James," Remus said loudly. "I'll quiz you. What is the sun?"

"Big and yellow!" Sirius knelt down, continuing to rummage through his pile of dirty laundry.

Remus glanced at James.

"Umm main sequence?" he answered uncertainly.

Remus nodded. "Surprisingly correct. Now... How about Sirius?"

"What a prat!"

"Bloody wanker."

Sirius pelted both James and Peter with more dirty laundry.

"Urgh, main sequence," James batted away Sirius' boxer shorts. "That's nasty!"

"Betelgeuse?" Remus called out, an amused grin playing on his lips.

James scratched his chin pensively, mind drawing a blank. "Sod Astronomy," he finally replied. Rumpling his hair, he added with a characteristic grin, "Let's just get going, today's the big day."

"No!" Peter gaped in awe.

"No," Remus sounded just as disbelieving.

"Yes!" James was beaming. "I'm gonna ask Lily to come to Hogsmeade with me."

"Go get her," Sirius encouraged. "Just be a little more blunt with your feelings, I think she's missing the fact that you're in love with her."

James gave Sirius a rude hand gesture. "Look, I know what I'm doing, and _I don't need your cheek Mr. Black_!" James made a fairly good impression of Professor McGonagall. Sirius rolled his eyes, grinning.

* * *

"What spiffing weather we're having," Sirius smirked, spirits high. He, James, Peter and Remus followed the throng of students third year and up as they milled down a cobblestone path away from the castle. "Cheer up, mate. She didn't hex you this time."

The raven haired boy grumbled in reply, "Yeah, yeah. I'll get her next time."

Remus shot him a sympathetic look. "Well maybe you can buy her a butterbeer later at the Three Broomsticks or something."

"Go get her trashed so you can see her knockers like he did last year," Sirius laughed.

James stopped dead, fierce eyes locked on Remus.

"-Which is a complete and utter joke, naturally," Sirius chuckled. He ran a hand through his elegant curtain of black hair and continued to walk, the other three following.

James shrugged, smirking slightly, "I doubt that bird's ever been kissed, the way she locks herself up in the library all the time. Now, if she'd only let me show her how it's done..."

Sirius gave Remus a confident smile and the shadow of a wink. That seemed to let him appreciate just how nice the sunny spring weather was, after all.

"Mum's taking me to Cambridge this summer to be with my dad," Peter began to chatter. "So I won't be seeing you all," he added shortly.

"I'm going to be up in the library all summer hiding from my family," Sirius said. "But at least I have some Transfiguration research to do."

James perked up at Sirius' mention of attempting schoolwork over summer holidays. "What?" he asked, astonished.

"I think I may have found a solution to Remmy's furry little problem," Sirius had lowered his voice considerably, and his lips were twisted into a wicked smile.

Remus raised his eyebrows so high they ran the risk of disappearing into his sandy blonde fringe. There had been few mentions of his transformations apart from their monthly occurrences.

"Well, out with it then," James finally said.

"Animaguses," Sirius was positively beaming. "C'mon, we can be Animagi and stay with Remmy while he turns into a monster and runs through the forest tearing apart tragic heroes and helpless virgins!"

Remus ignored the blatant error in his theory. "Would you guys really do that?" he asked, voice dripping in excitement.

"Of course! That's a spiffing idea," James grinned. "We can tell McGonagall, I'm sure she'd help us-"

"No, it's illegal!" Peter squealed. "Only wizards of age can do it, and they have to register with the Ministry of Magic!"

"Well then we can do it on our own. It can't be too hard," Sirius replied confidently.

"I bet we can mange it," James added.

Peter's lower lip twitched. Remus shrugged, the initial shock of excitement gone. He now deemed this idea less workable and more like one of Sirius' little fantasies. And the fact that James went along with it made it all the less appealing.

Whatever was left of the conversation was cut off by their arrival into Hogsmeade, where James and Sirius made a beeline for Zonko's, and Remus dragged Peter to Honeyduke's sweet shop.

* * *

"I may pick up a couple of these biting quills," James loomed by the table of the joke shop's new arrivals, examining their contents. "Be dead useful next time Snivelly breaks a quill and Flitwick asks the class if 'anybody would be so kind'..." 

Peter entered the joke shop flanked by Remus, who was clutching a large sack of assorted sweets and chocolates in his arms.

"Hey Remmy, check this out," Sirius cupped a small, twittering dove in his hands. "Isn't it cute?"

Remus rolled his eyes. "I'm not that daft, we're in a joke shop. It probably turns into something nasty."

"A snake, to be precise," James stroked the dove's soft white feathers and with as faint pop, it morphed into a writhing snake.

"Wouldn't work with any of the Slytherins," Peter commented sadly.

James strode over to another shelf. "I think we've let Filch sit back on his heels a bit too long," he scanned the shelf, rubbing his chin pensively. "Dungboms in the Astronomy Tower?"

"Nah, don't bother the innocent snoggers. I go for firecrackers in the suits of armor, we haven't done that in ages," Sirius replied, grinning mischievously. James nodded in agreement and pulled a couple of Filibuster's Fireworks down off the shelf.

Just then, a tall and lanky blonde girl emerged from the back room, causing both Sirius and James to shove their armfuls of joke products into a basket full of Fanged Frisbees.

"Not buying anything exclusively banned, you four?" She said briskly, an accusing expression lingering on her face. The lighting of the room reflected off of her shiny, recently polished Head Girl badge.

"No, Vellice," James grinned broadly, placing a hand on his head and rumpling his mop of ravenous hair. "Nope, we weren't planning on doing anything that remotely breaks the rules at all."

"Good, wouldn't want to be counted out in the running for Prefects even more than you already are," She replied lamely, heading towards front door. "Now, good afternoon boys."

"Why was she in here?" Peter gaped at Mandy Vellice's retreating form.

James shrugged and collected his belongings from the crate of snapping frisbees. "Who cares. She's a right prat, that one. We should put a Fanged Geranium in her knicker drawer one day."

Remus popped a piece of chewing gum into his mouth and watched James and Sirius as they resumed their shopping, studying a pouch of Vinito's Vanishing Powder. "I actually do wonder what Dumbledore's going to do about prefects next year. I mean, we all have quite an, er, lousy reputation," he pondered.

Peter chuckled. "One of us I spose. Gideon's always pissing off McGonagall, so I doubt she'd let him control students in her house."

"Nah, Prewett's a shoe-in! He's Sprout's pet, always in the greenhouses being a brown nosed git. she'll make Dumbledore pick him," James replied absentmindedly. "Hey! D'you reckon we could sneak into the girl's dorms and rub some of this on their uniform blouses?"

Sirius nodded eagerly and scooped the Vanishing Powder off the shelf. "My thoughts exactly, mate."

"Lily would have your head for that." Remus envisioned Lily Evans meandering around the school topless. He buried his head into the bag of sweets to hide the slight blush creeping onto his cheeks.

James chuckled, probably on a similar train of thought. "Speaking of Evans, got any hot tamales in there?"

"Hmm," Remus hummed, continuing to rummage through his candy before resurfacing with a tiny red sweet.

"Can we get back to the castle in time for lunch?" Peter licked his lips, watching James pop the hot tamale into his mouth. "I'm starved."

"Sure, we'll just buy this stuff and go," Sirius nodded at James, and the duo hauled their purchases to the front counter.

* * *

** A/N:** Mmkay, update swill be about this length, give or take (usually give, knowing me.)  
So yeah, please review, because it makes my heart sing with joy. :D 


	3. Into The Airwaves

**A/N:** Sorry for the wait, I've been up to my neck in school work and my aspirations for becoming a pro snowboarder.  
This is a longg update, hopefully you'll like it :D.

* * *

"Okay, we should really go to the library and take out some books to study from," Remus said, adjusting the strap of his overloaded bookbag on his shoulder. "Only two months left." 

Sirius replied, "Who cares? It's not O.W.L.s, 4th year doesn't even matter." He rolled his eyes at Remus' serious expression. The four boys turned a corner and headed down the 4th floor corridor.

"Well we have nothing better to do I guess," James shrugged. "Haven't seen Evans lately, and she did promise to tutor me a bit in Charms..."

Peter raised his eyebrows. "Really?"

"Nah, you can't get within 5 feet of her without dodging a Bat-Bogey," Sirius guffawed.

"Then she starts yelling," Remus added.

"Yeah, she'd be a right screamer in bed," Sirius broke into a fit of bark-like laughter.

"Been shagging Mudbloods, have you?"

Sirius and James whipped around, wands brandished. Lucius Malfoy sneered coldly back at them, flanked by a few of his Slytherin cronies.

"How dare you call her a mudblood!" James snarled, narrowing his eyes.

"I'll call her whatever I feel like," he drawled. "She's going to die soon anyway, the Dark Lord doesn't take pity on such worthless individuals. Nor those who... _adore_ them."

"I'm going to mess you up so bad you're going to wish you'd never met me." James' voice was venomous.

"Such big words, from a little fourth year none the less," Lucius retorted sharply, his smile curdling into an unpleasant simper. "I'd watch your arse Potter, one day your words will catch up to you."

"Oh really? What are you going to do, hex me? Well go for it, I'm, not scared," James snapped back. Sirius waved his wand threateningly by James' side. A couple of Slytherins brandished their own wands, everyone glaring each other down. Even Remus, feeling vulnerable, slipped a hand inside the pocket of his robes and felt around for the wand within.

"Black, Potter, Malfoy, Rookwood, Avery, _what on earth do you think you're doing_?"

All heads suddenly snapped to Professor McGonagall, who was standing at the foot of the marble staircase. Her hands resting on her hips, she sported an aggravated expression etched on every single line of her face.

The boys all lowered their wands. "Sorry Professor," James muttered.

Her nostrils flared. "Everybody here, detention in my office tomorrow night, and 50 points per house," Professor McGonagall said sharply. "Now get back to your common rooms, curfew is approaching."

Malfoy shot James one last dirty look before turning on his heel and marching off down the corridor, sneering cronies in his wake.

"He's like the ring leader of the future Death Eaters," Remus murmured, reluctantly slipping the wand back into his robes.

James nodded. "Gits. I'm going to get Malfoy back one more time before he graduates."

"Like something bloody huge," Sirius added. "Something he'll remember for the rest of his life..."

The Marauders began to journey back to the common room.

"Oh and Potter?"

James looked up at Sirius.

"We _all_ got detention, so I'm still two up on you," he smirked.

* * *

"There he is!" Peter squeaked, pointing a pudgy finger at the Marauder's favorite, greasy-haired target. "He's walking behind Thompson."

James leaned over the banister of the staircase, peering around the crowded entry hall. "So you think this spell will really work?"

Sirius chuckled. "Hell if I know. I hope it backfires and kills the git."

"It'll be fine if you just aim it well," Remus replied, also leaning over the banister to get a good look at the students flocking from the Great Hall. "Just hurry up before he gets away."

James extended his wand arm, aiming carefully at Snape. He muttered a short string of incantations, and a jet of white light shot out of his wand. It soared through the entrance hall, nailing Snape square on the foot.

Whooping loudly, James ducked down out of view with the others.

"He probably doesn't even know what hit him." Smiling eagerly, Sirius inched forward to try and peek over the ledge. Remus tugged him back by his untucked shirt tail. Sirius let himself be dragged backwards, and he took a seat on Remus' lap.

"Let's take the long way to Potions," commented James, who was still craning his neck to see. Peter nodded in agreement, leading the way up the remaining stairs.

* * *

Peter could barely control his spazmatic chuckles as the Marauders made their way to the dungeon of the castle. Upon catching sight of Snape's shoes, he completely lost it and burst out into hysterics.

"Nice shoes, Snivelly," Sirius cheered, smirking broadly.

Snape, who was already flushed a delicate pink, muttered darkly under his breath.

"_Diffinio_," James yelled, causing Snape's robes to tear at the knee and further expose the horrible old pair of bowling shoes in place of his trainers. "Ah, I see the switching spell did work!"

"Bowling shoes! Brilliant, eh Avery?" Sirius winked at him, causing the Slytherin boy to scowl. "Thank goodness James is in Muggle Studies or we wouldn't have enough new material to make Snivelly's life miserable!"

The small crowd converged around the scene sniggered. Sirius continued to egg on Snape, aided by James. Peter seemed to live for these occurrences, he was laughing jovially, and Remus just stood aside and took a spectator's view of the mischief.

"Has your hair possibly gotten greasier since the last time I saw you?" Sirius asked malevolently. "Be careful and take a shower once in a while, you don't want sea slugs to be living in there."

"I'm quite a fan of your dirty socks, too," James said loudly. "What'd you do to piss off the house elves that do the laundry?"

Peter was now howling with laughter and amusement, slapping himself on the knee. A small frown spread across Remus' face as he studied Snape's features, which were contorted with rage and embarrassment.

"Bloody gits," Snape mumbled, having flushed an even deeper shade of crimson. He began to fish around in the pocket of his robes, undoubtedly for his wand...

"Gonna hex us are you?" James asked. Snape's hand froze. "That's what I thought. Now if you don't want to be hanging in the air by your ankle, I suggest you-"

"Oi, Potter, just leave him alone," Lily Evans had just arrived to the queue outside the Potions classroom, flanked by a couple of friends. Her green eyes glinted angrily.

"So nice of you to join us, Evans!" Smirking at Lily, James innocently flicked his wand. Snape doubled over on the floor, and began to barf up massive, writhing green slugs.

"_Finite Incantantem_!" Lily had brandished her own wand, lifting the curse from Snape. He hastily scrambled back onto his feet.

"Don't make me report you to McGonagall again," Lily threatened, stowing her wand back into her robes.

"Aww, were just having some fun," James continued, the trademark grin plastered on his lips. One of Lily's friends seemed to be swooning. "Now don't you look pretty today, Evans. I love it when the color of your cheeks matches your hair, it's just dashing."

Lily narrowed her shockingly green eyes and opened her mouth to retort, but The heavy oak door of the classroom swung open.

"Oh, hello everybody!" Slytherin Head Professor Slughorn emerged into the hallway, proceeded by his pot belly. "Come on in," he said heartily, and the students ambled into the dank room, thus ending the little squabble. Lily, still fuming, sat at the first table and roughly dropped her bookbag onto the floor. The Marauders notoriously seated themselves farthest from the front of the room, Remus settling in at a cauldron next to Sirius.

"Very nice shoes, Severus. We all need some comical relief in such dark, threatening times as these," Professor Slughorn said amusedly, taking his seat at the head of the dungeon.

Scattered giggles and chuckles sounded through the room, and Snape slumped down further in his seat.

Lily, Snape, and Remus may have been taking diligent notes while Professor Slughorn drawled on in lecture format about what simply stunning uses a drop of dragon blood plays in the art of potion brewing, but the remainder of the class found other ways to amuse themselves.

James had fallen asleep, and Sirius was busy poking his best mate's hair with a wand. The unruly black mess continually tangled itself into dozens of little braids.

The Gryffindor girls seated by Lily sat gossiping, flipping through an issue of Witch Weekly and curling their eyelashes using their wands.

The remainder of the Slytherins seemed to be brooding darkly and passing around sheafs of parchment, occasionally signing it or scribbling down a footnote and recirculating it around. One boy even charmed a spare sheaf to fold itself up like a paper airplane and hit Snape in the head.

_Not even the Slytherins like him_, Remus mused silently, letting his gaze wander astray from his notes. Sirius nudged him with his elbow.

"Remmy, if you don't take notes, we all fail," Sirius complained, a smile lingering on his lips. Remus rolled his eyes.

"Oh boy, we're a little restless today," Slughorn chuckled, finally noticing the class' inattentiveness. "We'll just get straight to today's Potion, Draught of Peace. If properly brewed, this potion will cause the user to feel immediately calm and carefree. The five senses will be dull and the user will become drowsy-"

"Sounds like we're smoking pot," Sirius whispered to Remus, who merely nodded in reply, but found himself grinning.

"-And possibly fall asleep like Mr. Potter," Slughorn smiled. James continued snoozing, his whole head engulfed by miniature braids.

"Oho, no matter. Instructions for the Draught of Peace can be found on page 143 of your textbook, so get started everyone. I'll be around to help."

Sirius smacked James on the back and he woke with a start, rubbing his eyes from under the notorious wire-rimmed glasses and grinning. They headed over to collect ingredients from the supply cabinet with the rest of the class. Remus, chuckling to himself, flicked his wand and set James' hair back to normal.

Slughorn meandered around the room, observing the potion-making that shortly followed. Some students were failing miserably, earning a disapproving glance. Remus had managed to brew his draught to a sea foam green color, adding dashes of chili powder in an attempt to brighten the shade to a sky blue, as depicted in the textbook. James and Sirius were lazily administering various charms and transformations on their gurgling and sputtering potions, enjoying the variations of color and texture they were able to produce.

"So, you guys, I was thinking yesterday," James said casually, skimming through the Charms textbook hidden under _Potion Maker's Guide to Herbs and Spices_.

"What is it?" Peter rested his head on his desk, having given up on rectifying his potion halfway through the period.

"Well, for the most part, I have Malfoy's death trap planned out," James hastened to keep his voice low.

"Sweet," Sirius was grinning mischievously. "When do we start?"

James, looking uneasy, poked his wand into the cauldron. Small bubbles began to boil at the surface of his potion. "Erm, well, I was kinda gonna fly solo on this one," he said lamely.

Sirius' grin faltered. "You mean I'm not going to help?"

"It's a personal thing. I need to whip Malfoy on my own," James replied uneasily. "You heard the way he talked about Lily, and I'm not going to stand for it."

"Oh." Sirius shifted the expression on his face, attempting to look unfazed. "It's cool. Go for it."

Peter snorted, disgruntled that he probably wouldn't be involved in James' plan either. "Your way too protective over a bird that wants nothing more than to hang your arse on the wall like a stuck pig."

Remus gave Peter a really weird look.

"Oh Evans, brilliant work!" Slughorn stopped at Lily's cauldron, beaming at it's contents. His gingery mustache was practically bristling with delight. "I know this is very difficult work, maybe even O.W.L. level, but there's no reason why I shouldn't be seeing more potions as distinctly fine as Lily's!"

"Mr. Potter, yours seems acceptable as well," Slughorn meandered on, peeking into his cauldron. James raised his eyebrows, grinning down at as his potion, which had a lavender hue and was emitting a faint smell of burnt rubber.

"Thank you, Professor," he replied, forcing a smile. James had attended way to meetings of Professor Slughorn's 'Slug Club' meetings to expect any less recognition.

"Talk about playing favorites," Sirius found himself whispering in Remus' ear as Slughorn made his way to the front of the dungeon.

"Chill out, it's okay, Sirius," Remus muttered in return.

"Well, anybody care to try theirs? We have 10 minutes left," Slughorn declared, rocking back on his heels.

Lily hesitated, and appeared to be consulting a friend on whether or not to give it a go. Smirking slightly in spite of himself, Sirius flicked his wand discreetly under the desk, aiming at a Slytherin boy sitting next to Snape. His hand shot up involuntarily into the air.

"You prat," muttered the Slytherin, looking uncertainly down at the chunky black, soup-like substance in the bottom of his cauldron.

Slughorn chuckled, "Oho, since you've kindly volunteered Mr. Rookwood, then maybe you'd care to try it as well Mr. Black?"

Sirius stopped sniggering.

* * *

**A/N:** Since you've gotten this far, please review. It really does make my day to get some feedback from you lovely readers. Also, I'm going to Florida tomorrow with the band! Buhbye snow and hullo Disney World!


	4. Kind of Perfect

**A/N: **This chapters a tiny bit, well, full of raging testosterone :D

* * *

"Look... It's okay, I'll just meet you out there," James commented to Sirius, his foot tapping on the ancient wooded floor. 

"Oh, _bugger off_." Sirius grabbed a fistful of clothes, tossing them up in the air. Frowning to himself, he stepped over the strewn laundry and headed to his dresser. "Where's my bloody uniform?"

"The house-elves washed the bloody one, the clean one is hanging up," Peter replied from over his Charms assignment, chuckling. Sirius rolled his eyes and headed for the wardrobe.

"When did you become so witty?" he growled, pulling on his freshly laundered robes and picking up his broomstick. Still glowering at Peter's amusement, Sirius decided this definitely wasn't a good morning.

The door swung open again, and James stepped inside. "Don't bother, practice was called because of the weather. I also have a feeling it's because this years Hufflepuff team is a bunch of pricks who don't know which way to hold the bludger club."

Sirius froze in his tracks and dropped his broom, pulling the uniform back up and over his head.

Gratefully tossing aside his poor excuse for an essay, Peter pulled a couple Zonko's bags from underneath his bed. "Now we can set up the fireworks before lunch!"

"Good idea. Now, where's Remus? We all know how he loves to pull pranks," James commented.

"He's in the library, studying like a good werewolf," Sirius replied, reluctantly nicking the invisibility cloak from atop James' night stand.

"Should we distract Filch?" Peter asked, wringing his pudgy hands together in an attempt to curb his excitement.

James shook his head, heading for the door. "He's probably still all tied up from the flood on the third floor."

"Pulling off more pranks without me, eh?" Sirius said hotly, running his hand along the banister of the staircase as they descended. James frowned.

"No, Moaning Myrtle had a fit and turned on all the taps," he replied. "I heard Lily telling off some little 1st years that teased her for being dead."

Sirius snorted, obviously unsatisfied with the answer, and pulled the invisibility cloak out of his robes once they exited the scarcely vacated Common Room.

"We can't be sketchy, it's 11 am on a Saturday," he replied shortly to Peter's questioning look.

A trip to the Entrance Hall always seemed much longer when three or more boys had to remain huddled under a single cloak. Leaving Peter behind was always a fair option, as he took up more than half of the space under there. But in Remus' absence, James, Sirius and Peter could somewhat comfortably fit.

Once the coast was clear, Peter slipped out from under the invisibility cloak and stood guard by the staircase. The only Professor patrolling the corridors on a Saturday morning was Flitwick, but he wasn't too difficult to evade.

_"Oh, Professor, I... I think Peeves may be... being bad... That way! He's smashing ink bottles again!"_ Peter had stammered, convincingly capturing the emotion of fear at the very least.

Everyone once in a while, he'd send nervous glances back at the spot where James and Sirius sat, invisible to the naked eye. The duo worked quickly to disillusion firework after firework, stuffing them into various extremities of the suits of armor. A firework slipped out of Sirius' grasp, and went skidding out across the marble tile. James reached out and nicked it.

"Seekers reflexes," Sirius commented. James grinned and opened the chest plate of one suit, loading in a few fireworks.

"So I've been thinking about this prank thing, and well, I'm sorry for being immature," Sirius said conversationally, smoothing over the wrinkled fabric of his robes.

"It's okay. I'm just glad you didn't try to prank me over it," James ruffled his hair, replying with a grin.

Sirius nodded and continued silkily, "Yeah. So you've probably chilled out too, and whatever part of the prank you want me to help with, I'd be glad."

The raven haired boy sighed, and any sign of relief that had etched itself onto his features dissipated. "I don't think you get it. This is still something I have to do alone," James recited. "Just forget I ever mentioned it, okay?"

"No, I can't just forget! I want in on the mischief!" Sirius' voice had risen slightly. Peter squealed nervously, but the short-tempered boy plowed on. "Why are you being such a prat about it?"

"I am not being a prat! This is something personal," James replied hotly.

"Personal my ARSE," Sirius barked, scattering his remaining fireworks across the floor. Throwing the cloak off of himself, Sirius stomped off down the hallway. He somehow resisted the strong urge to whip out his wand and hex James into oblivion.

James scowled and collected the remaining fireworks, jabbing them roughly into place.

* * *

Remus uncovered his Potions textbook, and began to scan it's torn pages for a section on antidotes. After a few minutes of flicking through the tattered, secondhand book, he just sighed and set it aside, figuring the pages had been torn out somewhere down the line. Remus' eyes drifted to the clock on the wall, 11:30. He'd been studying for over two hours. 

"Hey," a nasally, soft voice spoke from beside him. Remus looked up to see Severus Snape lingering next to his table.

"Oh hello," Remus replied. "What's up?"

"I was wondering if I could sit here, the people over there don't like me too much," Snape gestured towards the other side of the quaint library, where a pack of upperclassmen Ravenclaws leered back at him. His black eyes glinted angrily, and Remus felt a surge of pity rise in his chest.

He nodded. "Okay."

Snape took a seat in the wooden chair on Remus' left, dropping his bookbag on the floor. "Thanks," he said.

"It's not a problem," Remus replied. "Erm, d'you happen to have your Potions textbook? I think my antidote section's been ripped out."

Snape nodded and plucked the textbook from his bookbag.

Flipping through Beginner's Guide to Potion-Making, Remus noted many little footnotes and cross-outs scrawled in miniscule handwriting across it's pages. Feeling Snape's gaze upon him, Remus flipped to the antidotes section and diligently scribbled down a few important notes.

By the time he was finished copying, words that had been burning the back of Remus' mind threatened to spill out. He cleared his throat, and handed Snape the textbook.

"Look, I'm sorry," Remus said dully. Snape looked up questioningly, his hooked nose leering at Remus. The sandy blonde haired boy continued warily, "The way James and Sirius act, it isn't right. I know we used to be mates in second year... And I don't really stick up for you... Well... Yeah."

Snape's upper lip twitched, and he quickly buried his face back into notes.

Embarrassed, Remus fell silent for a few moments. "I'm sorry, I've been here all morning and need a spot of lunch now."

Snape nodded his head, a few greasy strands of black hair falling into his equally as oily face.

Remus gathered his books and loose papers before striding out of the library.

* * *

Sirius yawned loudly and stretched out across his bed. "What a shitty day. I didn't even get to set off those bloody fireworks." 

"If Mrs. Norris doesn't sniff them out, there's always tomorrow," Remus replied, leaning back against the headboard of his four-poster.

"Y'know, if James hadn't snuck off to Hogsmeade, I'd probably have murdered him," Sirius continued sourly.

"Not the most creative way to be expelled," Remus said absentmindedly, nibbling on a square of chocolate and scrawling an essay on a sheaf of parchment. "Now where did Peter say he was off to?"

"Who cares, Moony?" Sirius replied. "It's James I'm pissed about. How could he pull a prank without us!"

"Maybe because in 2nd year we tried to kill him by stuffing tin foil in his hair and leaving that Niffler in his boxers drawer?" Remus suggested, taking another chunk off of the chocolate bar. "He never quite got you back for that."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "But that's old news. He's getting Malfoy back without us! I want to nail the git as badly as he does!"

Shrugging, Remus replied, "You know how he is about Lily."

"Whatever... You know what this means, don't you?"

Remus dipped his quill into an ink bottle, and he looked up into Sirius' intense gaze. His liquid onyx grey eyes bore into Remus, making him feel slightly queasy. Boy how he hated Sirius' sour moods. "What?" Remus finally replied.

"We need to outdo James, of course!" Sirius replied, slamming his fist onto the mattress.

"Okay," Remus responded, turning back to his essay. "We can try."

A long silence stretched ahead, and Sirius rolled over onto his stomach. Burying his face into the pillow, he mumbled something incoherently.

Remus raised his eyebrows. "What?"

Sirius mumbled into the pillow some more, a little bit louder this time.

"Sirius, I can't hear you when you stuff your face in the pillow," Remus said patiently.

The dark haired boy lifted his head. "I said, I love you."

Remus faltered, eyes widened in shock. "Um... What?"

"No, not like that!" Sirius grinned widely, chuckling. "You've just been a good mate to me is all. It's cool."

"Oh," Remus' expression relaxed. "Yeah, same to you."

Sirius yawned again, tugging at the knot on his tie and unbuttoning his wrinkled shirt. Remus put forth more effort to concentrate on the Goblin Rebellions essay in his lap.

Having slipped out of his day clothes, Sirius snuggled up in his bedsheets. "G'night Moony," he said.

"Sleep well," Remus replied. He began to nibble at his chocolate again, brow furrowed in thought.

* * *

**A/N:** Aren't those guys just the cutest?  
I've got some really smashing ideas up my sleeve for future chapter, so expect quick updates.  



	5. Dare

**A/N: **Time for an update! Woo-hoo.  
I just want to say mucho thanks to everyone who reviews, I really appreciate all of your input.

* * *

"Come on Mr. Lupin, drink your tea before it gets cold," A young woman said sweetly. She had a tall, gangly figure, and her blonde hair sat at a knot at the side of her head. Remus picked up his teacup and pressed the rim to his lips, and as soon as she turned away, he drained it into a potted plant. 

"This is stupid," he grumbled to Sirius, who was squinting into his own empty cup.

"Yeah, Lavalus isn't a seer. She can't even tell a storm's coming without going to Hogsmeade and tuning into the muggle weather station," Sirius replied.

"Did I hear my name?" the woman twisted around, bearing her usual spacy expression. Sirius' hand shot up in the air.

"Yes Professor, I think I see a wet clump of leaves in my cup. Does that mean I'm going to get mangled by a Hippogriff?" he inquired, grinning madly.

Lavalus sighed and began to wander towards the opposite end of the stuffy classroom. "Nobody in the Black family has ever shown the slightest compatibility with Seeing either way," she mused.

Remus chuckled, flipping a couple of pages in his copy of _Interpreting the Dream Oracle_. "According to this load of rubbish, something nature-related like leaves in your cup means when Mars aligns with the moon, your pugnacious side will come out. Does this mean we're all beasts?"

"Well you are," Sirius grinned. Remus punched his upper arm.

James and Peter sat in a pair of armchairs arranged a few rows behind the other two Marauders. The pudgy blonde boy was attempting, unsuccessfully, to extinguish the smoldering embers topping one of the many incense cones scattered around the dimly lit classroom.

Out of the corner of his eyes, James couldn't help but notice Lily struggling with her tea leaf reading.

"Hey there Evans. Swell morning, eh?" he grinned. Lily frowned at him.

"What do you want, Potter?"

James looked offended. "Lily, can't we just have a friendly conversation? I mean, since we're mates and all."

"Right," Lily raised her eyebrows and returned her attention to the teacup, her friend giggling madly and ogling James.

"So about this summer... You live across the street, I figured we could at least hang out a few times," James said suavely, rumpling his hair.

"Not on your life," was Lily's snappy reply.

"Shot down!" Peter chuckled in between attempts at conjuring an Aguamenti charm.

James gave Lily one last wink before he began to peer around the room, mostly checking out Sirius and Remus in their small squabble over the impending tea leaves. Confident of his seclusion from prying eyes, James began to scribble on a sheaf of parchment hidden under his tea leaf assessment form, pausing occasionally to suck on the end of his sugar quill.

* * *

Remus shivered, feeling the cool of the marble floor penetrate though his socks. "Remind me to murder James for letting his owl have at my slippers," he said. 

"Will do," Sirius replied quietly. He held his wand, lit at the tip, out in front of him as the duo navigated the dark corridors.

As they passed by a blazing torch, he noticed the uneasiness in Remus' expression. "This is going to be pie, Moony. I got Slughorn to sign a note for the restricted section. Well, Potter actually did, but we're borrowing it."

"Why are we looking in the restricted section?" Remus asked hotly. "I'm not brewing anymore Polyjuice Potion."

"You'll see when we get there," Sirius replied. "And the Polyjuice idea was dumb anyway."

"Now you admit it," Remus mumbled, then fell silent. Slowly withdrawing his wand from the inside pocket of his robes, Sirius slowed down his pace.

"I think I hear something," he whispered. "Probably that bloody cat, Mrs. Norris."

Remus gripped his wand as well. "I guess we'll have to hex her?"

"Whoa, Moony goes vicious. It's not even full moon yet," Sirius chuckled. "It's probably nothing anyway," he added, ducking out from under the invisibility cloak as they approached the library.

Remus rolled his eyes, tugging the cloak off of himself and leaning against a wall. The sleepy occupant of a portrait hanging there grunted in his sleep.

_"Alohomora_," Sirius muttered, tapping the door with his wand. Nothing happened.

"See? The founders of this school are smarter than to leave the library vulnerable after hours," Remus trilled, strumming his fingers on the wooden-paneled walls.

"That's it, no more coffee for you." Sirius dug in the pocket of his pants, resurfacing with a small pocket knife held fast in his hand. He wedged the shining silver blade in the crevice between the solid oak paneling of the door and the wall, then ran it up and down over the lock. There was a soft _click_, and the door creaked open. Sirius grinned and led the way inside.

"Something I nicked from my attic. Qute useful, really," he gloated, making a beeline for the restricted section. Remus watched, slighty in awe, as he slid the handy little knife back into the recesses of his pocket.

* * *

"So did you look in all these books for information about Animagi?" Within 5 minutes, Remus' curiosity had gotten the better of him, and he sat in a rigid-backed chair combing through an old volume of a restricted Wizard's Encyclopedia. 

Sirius nodded as he scanned the index of a large, dusty textbook. "Of course, but I only found a bunch of warnings and restrictions. Don't worry though, if there's not an entire series about ways to double-cross the Ministry in the Black family library, I'm a warlock's uncle," he assured.

Remus climbed up on a step stool, stretching to reach a hard-bound book that was elaborately decorated violet and gold. "What's this doing here?" he asked, surprised at the cheery color scheme.

Sirius leaned over and read the title over Remus' shoulder, "_A Lover's Guide to 101 Non-Magical Uses for a Wand_. Interesting find, Remmy."

Gasping at the animated cover art, Remus tossed the book aside. "Alright, alright, I'll help you out now. What's the plan this time?"

"Slughorn mentioned the drought that ensues temporary gender switch of the user, and I always though Snape would look downright fit as a bird," Sirius replied smugly.

"You're going to turn Snape into a girl?" Remus repeated dully. His dark-haired companion nodded slowly.

"That'll top anything James can come up with, eh?" Sirius nudged Remus with his elbow.

"Why do I think this is a _really_ bad idea," Remus commented, still slightly dumbfounded. "Honestly, that's grounds for expulsion! And it's really advanced work, I doubt we could pull it off."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "I think it's a spiffing idea. So are you gonna help me or not?"

Remus frowned. A small part of him agreed that, yes, it's quite hilarious. But a majority of Remus' thoughts urged him not to go along with it, and Snape's face, twisted with rage and shame, stood out clearly in his mind. He stood frozen on the spot, scuffing his foot against a particularly bare spot on the ancient carpeting.

Heaving a great sigh, Sirius spoke gently, "Look, you don't have to help me, okay? I'll figure out something else."

"Okay." Remus gazed up at Sirius, uttering the only response he could manage. The rest of his words seemed to be stuck behind his teeth.

"Let's get back to the dorms." Sirius' voice was free of any malevolence, it even seemed calm. Remus smiled meekly back into the dark haired boy's unconcerned expression, a small twinge of guilt writhing in his stomach.

Finally nodding in reply, Remus slipped under the invisibility cloak with Sirius.

* * *

"_What_ in the name of Merlin's Beard is he doing now?" 

Remus looked up from his quite pathetic game of Wizard's chess against Peter. The pudgy blonde boy grimaced as his queen was assailed by another one of his friend's white nights.

"Looks like he's throwing some toast for the giant squid. D'you suppose he's going to try and feed Malfoy to it?"

"Sirius, sit down," Remus replied. "Stop worrying about it."

"Peter, did James mention anything about the squid eating Malfoy?" Sirius stalked away from the window, taking a seat on the very edge of his bed.

Shaking his head, Peter responded, "He didn't tell me much, actually. Sorry."

Sirius nodded in reply, rubbing his chin in thought. "Maybe I'll ask Lily if she knows anything about it. I mean I saw them talking in Divination earlier, who knows what she could be helping him with."

"We've been over this, Lily Evans would never help James Potter," Remus said confidently after urging his pawn to take Peter's knight. "Now calm down, this prank thing is no big deal. Besides, you're much better at it than he is."

Remus watched Sirius' scowl twist into a faint grin.

"That's the spirit, Moony," Sirius replied in soft tones, easing back onto the bed. With a strange difficulty, Remus drew his eyes away from Sirius' relaxed posed stretched out across his four-poster and turned back to his chess game.

Peter groaned, watching as his knight crumbled, completely exposing his king.

"Checkmate," replied Remus wearily.

* * *

**A/N:** I know that update was on the short side, but the next will be super-long. I swear.  
Now purlease review. 


	6. March of the Wild Things: Part 1

**A/N:** Yay! An update! And BTW, all your reviews are fabulous, and they really brighten my day. So thanks, and read onnn.

* * *

"Moony, _wake up!_" Peter was practically frothing at the mouth as he rushed up to Remus' bed, color high in his cheeks. Remus stirred slightly and opened his eyes, squinting at the bright sunlight flooding into the room.

"What is it?" he asked groggily, "I wanted to sleep in, I've been up late study for exams."

"Sirius is in trouble!" Peter gasped.

Remus rubbed his eyes before propping himself up on his elbows. "What'd he do this time? Did they find out about the fireworks?" his voice was scratchy.

Shaking his head frantically, Peter began to tug at the sleeve of Remus' night shirt. "No, Sirius! Drowning- The giant squid!"

Remus yanked back his sleeve and swung his feet out of bed. "Sirius is drowning the squid?"

"No! The squid is drowning Sirius!"

"Oh. Bloody hell!" Remus yelped, springing to his feet. Wildly rummaging through a pile of dirty laundry, he unearthed a wrinkled set of robes.

"We have to hurry!" Peter was anxiously twisting the brass doorknob so far Remus thought it was going to pop right out of the door. Jamming his arms into the sleeves of the rumpled cotton material, Remus snatched his wand as he dashed out the doorway.

* * *

By the time Remus and Peter made it onto the grounds, a mass of students and professors alike had congregated by the lakeside. 

Remus pushed by a group of fourth year girls standing by a large Beech Tree, fighting his way though the large crowd with Peter in his wake. From over the shoulders of three very excited underclassmen Ravenclaws, Remus spotted Sirius.

He was clinging to dry land with his hands fisted in the grass. Dark curtain of hair plastered to his very pale face and grey eyes impossibly wide and glassy, Sirius was gasping for oxygen and muttering something. Remus noticed how his robes were dark with water, clinging tightly to his quivering body.

A handful of teachers hovered by the water's edge taking control over the hectic situation. Hagrid was attempting to sweet-talk the large, angry squid back into the water. It was enormous and mottled purple and really quite ugly, Remus decided. But Hagrid, who was normally so good with animals, was having trouble making the squid go back into the lake, largely due to the fact that one thick, suction-cupped tentacle was still tight around Sirius' left ankle.

Madam Pomfrey seemed to be wavering between disgust, astonishment and hilarity. She was attempting to administer a moral lesson and restrain herself from hitting Sirius with a large rock at the same time. Professor McGonagall would have none of that indecisiveness and was shouting things like, "You have so many detentions to look forward to Mr. Black!" and "Why on earth have you been harassing the squid in the first place!"

On the sidelines, students stood in small huddles, whispering intently. Lily looked on with a mystified expression on her face, and James appeared genuinely concerned. _Probably more upset than concerned,_ Remus mused silently. _Nothing he could pull off would draw this much attention._

Finally, Hagrid seemed to lure the squid away from Sirius with a large stack of buttered toast fresh off the tray of a house-elf who had just dashed up to te water's edge. Tension got the best of Remus, and he rushed forawrd, shouting, "Sirius Black!"

The sound of his voice made Sirius' shoulders tense before he glanced around confusedly, until fuzzy grey eyes found Remus in the crowd and a large, stupid grin spread across his lips.

"Remmy!" Sirius gasped, coughing up a bit of water.

James, Remus, and Peter pushed through the remaining crowd until they were standing over Sirius, gazing down at his flushed cheeks and the smirk triumph on his face. Sirius looked as if he waiting for a royal chariot, and not as if Madam Pomfrey hadn't just muttered a Squeezing Spell to remove all the water from his belly as if he were an oversized, overdressed sponge. Madam Pomfrey rolled him over onto his back, and he began to shout, staring straight up at the sky.

"It worked!" Sirius beamed. "I think. But I'm almost positive that it totally and probably had to have mostly worked!"

James yelled, "You're cracked!"

Remus mumbled, "I can't believe you're so stupid!"

"I'm a genius! No one has ever come up with anything this good!" Sirius bellowed, raising one fist powerfully and narrowly missing Madam Pomfrey's face, "Sorry, ma'am- And nobody will, ever again. I am King!"

"You are hypothermic!" Remus shouted. "You're insane! You nearly drowned!"

"Merlin's Beard! What'd you do?" James asked in awe.

"Genius!" Sirius whooped. "Bloody genius!"

"Oh for Heaven's sake!" Madam Pomfrey put a silencing spell on Sirius, and floated him back to the infirmary, warning that if anybody came round or so much as uttered the word "squid", she'd make failing end of the year exams the least of their problems.

* * *

Early the next morning, as the sun was just peeking up over the horizon, Remus awoke to James' face inches from his own.

"Up, Remus, Sirius just told me the prank should be going off soon. Bet it isn't nearly as good as mine," James replied, clutching a pocket-sized mirror with a wooden frame.

"What'd he say about it?" Remus mumbled, rubbing his eyes. "And why now?"

_This is the second time I've lost sleep over this bloody prank war,_ Remus mused silently, vowing to make sure Sirius and James got on better footing with each other.

Peter had taken the mirror from James, and was now animatedly chatting into it. "Where are we supposed to be looking? And what for?" he chimed, sitting Indian style in such a way that the hem of his much-too-small pajamas rested halfway up his pudgy ankle.

"Gimme that," Remus reached out for the mirror, and was surprised to see Sirius' face grinning back at him from it's relective surface.

"Like the new enchanted mirrors?" Sirius smirked at Remus. "You can congratulate me on my brilliance another time, look out your window! And hurry up!"

Surpressing a giant yawn, he leaned over towards the window to peer out onto the dimly lit grounds.

Remus' eyes widened with shock at the scene set before him.

It seemed the giant squid climbed out of the Hogwarts lake, dragged itself up to the castle, and was now emmiting strange humming noises.

Pressing his face up against the cool glass, Remus strained to make sense out of the noises.

"D'you reckon it's talking?" Peter asked, eyes wide with excitement. James heaved open his window, ducking out the opening for a better view.

The squid's humming got louder and more intense, until it finally managed to climb across the grounds and end up near the Astronomy Tower. Dramatically reaching out a great purple tentacle, the squid closed it's eyes and began to belt out a song.

After it's performance of "Love On", by British pop star Cliff Richards, the giant squid dedicated the song to Severus Snape, who had been lured to an adjacent window, getting a front-row seat to witness the horrors.

The giant squid dragged itself back into the lake.

Sirius, who was not actually hypothermic, almost fell out of the infirmary window laughing.

* * *

**  
A/N:** Oh dear god, such a short update. A thousand apologies. And I swear that the next will be longer. Honestly.  
So pretty please, review? 


	7. March of the Wild Things: Part 2

**A/N:** Sorry if it seemed like I fell off a cliff or something, my life has been incredibly busy lately. But I swear I'll keep up this fic.

* * *

Plucking a slightly threadbare robe from the top of a laundry pile, Remus refolded it and tucked it neatly into the corner of his trunk. Reaching for a pile of socks, a crumpled letter sitting on the corner of the bedside table caught his eye.

_Moony, make sure to be near your fireplace at 1 am two Saturdays from now,_ Sirius had scrawled in characteristically sloppy handwriting. _Me and James have a surprise for you!_

_James and I,_ Remus had thought upon reading it, but the idea of a surprise after a long month and a half of being virtually alone seemed promising. James and Sirius had sent him letters, yes, but seemed far too busy to actually stop by and stay for a while.

Remus resumed his packing, pushing these thoughts to the back of his mind.

There was a gentle knocking, and an aging woman peeked inside the room, door ajar. "Remus, honey, dinner's ready," she said sweetly. "I made porkchops."

Inside, Remus grimaced. He actually quite disliked the taste of meat as of late, preferring more of a vegetarian lifestyle. But on the outside, he smiled appreciatively.

"I'll be down in five," he replied, tossing a handful of socks into his open trunk.

* * *

A few hours later, Remus sat obediently on the tartan recliner, fingers prodding at the loose fabric on one of the arms. He idly picked out a small chunk of cotton filling, tossing it aside. The rhythmic ticking of the grandfather clock in the corner of his den was oddly soothing to Remus, and he looked up to see that it was nearly 1:10 in the morning.

_Pop._

"Psst, Moony! Over here!"

Remus jumped, eyes fixing on the merrily cracking fire blazing in the fireplace, wondering how the heck Sirius' face got there.

But there it was, a wide smirk set on his lips.

"Well. I'm surprised," Remus murmured, kneeling on the hardwood floor next to the fireplace.

Sirius laughed, "Just wait until you see what James and I discovered!"

"It's brilliant, just brilliant," James' voice joined the mix, and he shoved Sirius' face aside to make room for his own. "But I think we should tell him in person," he awkwardly turned to look at Sirius, smooshing himself into the very corner of the cramped fireplace.

"Definitely," Sirius nodded in accord, smirk widening. "So how's your summer going, Moony?"

"Pretty good," he replied, studying both their faces for some kind of clue as to what was going on.

"My mum is taking us to Diagon Alley for books and such on Tuesday, can we pick you up too?" James asked, straightening his glasses.

Remus shrugged. "Sure, I just got my book list this morning. It also looks like they've made me prefect."

"WHAT?" Sirius barked, mouth agape with shock and excitement. "How did you not mention this yet?"

"A prefect! That's incredible!" James chorused. "You can give Slytherins detention for no reason! You can stay out late!"

"You can let us stay out late!" Sirius piped up.

Remus' tense facial features eased into a grin. "I think Dumbledore did it in hopes that I could keep you guys in line."

James scoffed. "Well forget that, next year is gonna be one big party."

"But no more prank wars," Remus said. "They made the rest of us clean up that swamp, too."

James and Sirius shook with laughter, memories of the swamp James had conjured up in the seventh year Slytherin boy's dorms still fresh in their minds from its occurrence a week after Sirius' squid incident.

Remus, who was now beaming as well, sent a long look towards the staircase, trying to control himself enough to press a finger to his lips. "My parents might wake up," he wheezed through subsiding chuckles.

Sirius wiped tears from the corners of his eyes. "Merlin's Beard, that thing was gross. And then there was that Kappa that worked its way into Malfoy's silky knickers. Brilliance!"

James nodded. "Do you remember the look on Prewett's face when McGonagall punished everyone in our dorm for it?" he imitated a grotesque snarl, setting off Sirius' laughter again.

"Oi, sounds like my mum's awake!" James' face popped out of view, leaving Sirius to occupy the entire fireplace once again.

"I'm crashing with the Potter's. I got what I wanted out of my house anyway," Sirius explained. Remus gave him an imploring look.

"I gotta go now, but I swear we'll explain everything," Sirius winked, then with a faint pop, his face withdrew from the flames and Remus was left staring into an empty fireplace once again.

* * *

Remus blinked. Shaking his head and rubbing his temples, he opened his eyes again, and still saw the same thing laid out before him.

"Bloody hell," he swore, sinking down onto his knees and kneeling onto the floor, watching in awe as the great, shaggy black dog sitting before him began to lick his hand.

"Mate, you may be a dog now, but that's just gross," James pulled a face, but chuckled and continued to admire Sirius' new animagi form. The dog barked, rolling onto his back.

"I think we draw the line at scratching your tummy," said Remus, but Peter reached out to rub Sirius' underside.

Barking and ransforming back into a human, Sirius smacked Peter away. "So, watcha think, Remmy?"

"Wow. I think it's brill," Remus responded, getting back onto his feet. "What about yours, James?"

"Well my animagus could kick Sirius' ass," James grinned, squeezing his eyes shut in concentration. Instantly, he morphed into a great brown stag. James jumped up onto his hind legs, throwing his antlers back and pawing the air.

"When the bloody hell did you lot have time for this?" asked Remus, a bemused smile lingering on his lips.

"Oh you know, we worked on it here and there," replied Sirius smugly. "So when's the next full moon, eh?"

Remus shrugged. "I believe it's the Sunday after we get back to school..."

"Sweet! I can't wait to try out these brilliant disguises!" he whooped, punching the air. Beside him, James morphed back into human form, a cocky expression on his face.

Looking over at the fourth member of the group, Remus inquired, "What about Peter?"

"Well I haven't been around too much this summer... So we're going to work on it once we're all back at Hogwarts," he grinned. "I want to be something cool like a... a bear, but they say no!"

"Think simple, Peter," said James from his seated position on the floor, pulling a large, leather bound textbook onto his lap. "It says the bigger the animal, the more complicated the transformation gets."

Sirius took a seat at the edge of James' bed, watching him flip through the pages. "Besides... Remmy, didn't you say we had to use a stick to prod at the knot on the WIllow Tree? What kind of bear has opposable thumbs?"

"Yeah," Remus nodded. "But are you suggesting we turn him into a monkey or something?"

Shaking his head, James' smile spread even wider. "No, no, think smaller. Think... Agile!"

James, struggling slightly, held up the large book to show the trio a page with a large black-and-white photo of a fuzzy black rat.

* * *

Lily Evans sat indian style on her bed, gazing out her window to get the perfect view of the Potter's kitchen, where Sirius was boiling a pot of water on the stove. Peculiarly enough, Remus and Peter seemed to be there too, seated around the table with James.

"Looks like the Potter's have opened up a hotel for delinquents," said Lily dryly, looking down at Alice Vivir, who was busy painting her toenails.

"You mean there are more blokes than just Sirius and James?" asked Alice, not looking up from the task at hand.

Nodding, Lily replied, "Looks like Lupin and Pettigrew are staying over as well. If this town burns down overnight, at least we know who to find first."

"Remus you say," giggled Alice. "He's quite fit looking, in a cute way, isn't he?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "Yeah, I guess he's cute in his own way."

"Ooh! Don't let Potter hear you say that!" Alice winked at Lily, who groaned and lobbed a decorative pink pillow at her friend.

"Hey, watch it! I'm on my third coat already!" yelped Alice, ducking out of the way of the flying pillow.

Lily flopped back on her bed, staring up at the ceiling. "So what do you want for dinner? My grandma left out some money if we want to get take-out again."

"Any chance of inviting the blokes over to join us?" grinned Alice.

Lobbing another pillow Alice's way, Lily looked back out her window. And froze.

"What the..." she murmured, blinking her eyes.

Alice looked up. "Something wrong?"

"Did the Potter's get a dog, Alice?"

"Hell if I know, they're your neighbors, not mine."

Lily narrowed her eyes, studying the kitchen again. Just Potter, Lupin, Pettigrew and Black... But she could've sworn there was a shaggy black dog among them just a moment ago...

Shrugging it off, Lily reached out for the newest issue of _Witch Weekly_ and absorbed herself in the tabloid section.

* * *

**A/N:** Now please leave me some concrit in a review! 


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